Country Lowdown February Joke of the Month
This cowboy rides into town one day and stops at the saloon for a drink.
The locals in the saloon have a nasty habit of picking on strangers, which of course the cowboy was.
After he finishes his drink, the cowboy goes outside only to find his horse has been stolen. So he goes back into the bar, flips his gun into the air, catches it over his head without looking and finally fires a shot into the ceiling.
He then angrily yells, “Which one of you fools stole my horse?”
There’s a silence as no one answers, so the cowboy yells even more angrily, “Alright, I’m gonna have one more beer, and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I did in Texas! And let me tell you I don’t like to have to do what I did in Texas!”
Some of the locals shift nervously in their seats.
The cowboy has another beer as he said he would and then walks outside. His horse has been returned and tied to the post where he originally left it.
So the cowboy saddles up and starts to ride out of town. As he does so, the bartender walks out of the bar and asks him, “Say pardner, before you go… what happened in Texas?”
The cowboy turns to him and says, “I had to walk home.”
Country Lowdown January Joke of the Month
A tough old cowboy from Texas one day told his granddaughter that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on her oatmeal every morning.
The granddaughter did this religiously until the age of 103, when she died.
She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, and a 40-foot hole where the crematorium used to be.
Which cowboy film star is always broke?
Country Lowdown November Joke of the Month
A woman walked up to a little old redneck rocking in a chair on his porch.
“I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a long happy life?”
“I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,” he said. “I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise.”
“That’s amazing,” the woman said. “How old are you?’
“Twenty-six,” he said.
Country Lowdown October Joke of the Month
A cowboy and a biker are on death
row, and are due to be executed on the same day.
The day comes, and they are brought to the gas chamber. The warden asks the cowboy if he has a last request, to which the cowboy replies, “Ah
shore do, wardn. Ah’d be mighty grateful if’n yoo’d play ‘Achy Breaky Heart’ fur me bahfore ah hafta go.”
“Sure enough, cowboy, we can do that,” says the warden. He turns to the biker, “And you, biker, what’s your last request?”
“That you kill me first.”
I know, I know! We all groan together….
February’s caption competition comes courtesy of firm fan favourite Kip Moore. What do you think Kip could possibly be thinking here?! The best captions for this picture will be published here and you can bag yourself a car sticker and maybe a mystery prize if yours is chosen as the winner. Send captions via email to email@example.com, Tweet us @CountryLDMusic #FebCaption or just leave your comment in the box below ’cause I’ve just worked out how to enable that! Just one request KEEP IT CLEAN haha!!
Our first, September caption competition of the Just For Fun section, courtesy of the mighty Chris Young’s Facebook page. We’re figuring if he didn’t want to have it poked fun at he wouldn’t have posted it, right?! We love Chris at the Country Lowdown so send us your captions and we’ll publish the best ones…
“Er, if I breathe in any more I’m not going to be able to sing!!” Anon, London
“Aw Nawwww!!!!!” Sharon W, Northampton
So Country Lowdown’s Caroline had a blast meeting the affable Mr Ryan Hurd, but what do you think is happening here? Best captions for this October picture will be published here and you can bag yourself a sought after car sticker for your motor if your caption is chosen. Send them via email to firstname.lastname@example.org. Get your thinking caps on!
“We want you for the UK Country Army!” Sally M, Lincoln
November’s caption competition comes straight from Cole Swindell’s USA tour. What do you think Lauren is saying/thinking as Dustin Lynch is talking to her? Best ones get a car sticker – send your captions into email@example.com or tweet us @CountryLDMusic #NovCaption.
Lauren: “I can’t believe this we’re in the middle of a concert here!”
Cole: “Yes, ok, love you too mum, gotta go….” Karen S, London