February 2020 Song Title of the Month
My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink and I Don’t Love Jesus – Jimmy Buffett
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January 2020 – Happy New Year to all our country family & friends
It’s January 2020 so I thought we’d give the jokes a rest (oh, there are so many more I could share though…). Time for a new bit of fun. Ever had a giggle when listening to your favourite country artists and the title of the songs were so ridiculous they made you laugh? Every month I’ll share some of my favourites – send yours in to [email protected] and we’ll post our favourites.
First up – Molly Ivins and ‘Her Teeth were Stained, but her Heart was Pure’
December Joke of the Month
What do you get when you cross Speedy Gonzales with a country singer?
November Joke of the Month
Did you hear about the twister in Oklahoma that killed twenty people?
Those rednecks take that game way too seriously.
October Joke of the Month
What has 72 legs and 26 teeth?
The first row at a Willie Nelson concert!
September Joke of the Month
Cowboy 1: “Hey there, partner. What the heck is that there rock that
makes them words sound so much alike?”
Cowboy 2: “Well, that’s a rhyme stone, Cowboy.”
August Joke of the Month
What happens if you sing country music in reverse?
July Joke of the Month
How many country singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to do it and one to sing a song about all the good times he had with the old light bulb.
June Joke of the Month
He sees a guy tying up his horse in front of the saloon and calls, “Hey, are you folks gonna hang someone?”
The guy nods. “Yup. We’re fixin’ to hang Brown Paper Larry.”
The cowboy’s brow furrows. “How come he’s called Brown Paper Larry?”
“Well,” says the guy, “the man always wears clothes made of brown paper. Brown paper shirts. Brown paper pants. Even brown paper socks.”
The cowboy ponders this for a moment, then asks, “What are ya hangin’ him for?”
May Joke of the Month
A young cowboy walks into the saloon.
He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded, staring blankly at a full bowl of chowder.
After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asked the old cowboy, “If you ain’t gonna eat that, mind if I do?”
The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says, “Nah, go ahead.”
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning in it with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse. The sight was shocking and he immediately barfs up the chowder back into the bowl.
The old cowboy quietly says, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too.”
April Joke of the Month
A cowboy walks into a German car showroom and says…”Audi!”
March Joke of the Month
A cowboy rides into town in the Wild West and shoots an artist.
The Sheriff asks him, “Why did you do that?”
The cowboy says, “I thought he was about to draw!”
February Joke of the Month
This cowboy rides into town one day and stops at the saloon for a drink. The locals in the saloon have a nasty habit of picking on strangers, which of course the cowboy was.
After he finishes his drink, the cowboy goes outside only to find his horse has been stolen. So he goes back into the bar, flips his gun into the air, catches it over his head without looking and finally fires a shot into the ceiling.hen angrily yells, “Which one of you fools stole my horse?”
There’s a silence as no one answers, so the cowboy yells even more angrily, “Alright, I’m gonna have one more beer, and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I did in Texas! And let me tell you I don’t like to have to do what I did in Texas!”
Some of the locals shift nervously in their seats.
The cowboy has another beer as he said he would and then walks outside. His horse has been returned and tied to the post where he originally left it.
So the cowboy saddles up and starts to ride out of town. As he does so, the bartender walks out of the bar and asks him, “Say pardner, before you go… what happened in Texas?”
The cowboy turns to him and says, “I had to walk home.”
January Joke of the Month
A tough old cowboy from Texas one day told his granddaughter that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on her oatmeal every morning.
The granddaughter did this religiously until the age of 103, when she died.
She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, and a 40-foot hole where the crematorium used to be.
December Joke of the Month
Which cowboy film star is always broke?
November Joke of the Month
A woman walked up to a little old redneck rocking in a chair on his porch.
“I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a long happy life?”
“I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,” he said. “I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise.”
“That’s amazing,” the woman said. “How old are you?’
“Twenty-six,” he said.
October Joke of the Month
A cowboy and a biker are on death
The day comes, and they are brought to the gas chamber. The warden asks the cowboy if he has a last request, to which the cowboy replies, “Ah
“Sure enough, cowboy, we can do that,” says the warden. He turns to the biker, “And you, biker, what’s your last request?”
“That you kill me first.”
I know, I know! We all groan together….
Caption CompetitionsScroll down to find the current competition and just add your caption as a comment to enter.
Our first, September caption competition of the Just For Fun section, courtesy of the mighty Chris Young’s Facebook page. We’re figuring if he didn’t want to have it poked fun at he wouldn’t have posted it, right?! We love Chris at the Country Lowdown so send us your captions and we’ll publish the best ones…
“Er, if I breathe in any more I’m not going to be able to sing!!” Anon, London
“Aw Nawwww!!!!!” Sharon W, Northampton
So Country Lowdown’s Caroline had a blast meeting the affable Mr Ryan Hurd, but what do you think is happening here? Best captions for this October picture will be published here and you can bag yourself a sought after car sticker for your motor if your caption is chosen. Send them via email to [email protected]. Get your thinking caps on!
“We want you for the UK Country Army!” Sally M, Lincoln
November’s caption competition comes straight from Cole Swindell’s USA tour. What do you think Lauren is saying/thinking as Dustin Lynch is talking to her? Best ones get a car sticker – send your captions into [email protected] or tweet us @CountryLDMusic #NovCaption.
Lauren: “I can’t believe this we’re in the middle of a concert here!”
Cole: “Yes, ok, love you too mum, gotta go….” Karen S, London
February’s caption competition comes courtesy of firm fan favourite Kip Moore. What do you think Kip could possibly be thinking here?! The best captions for this picture will be published here and you can bag yourself a car sticker and maybe a mystery prize if yours is chosen as the winner. Send captions via email to [email protected], Tweet us @CountryLDMusic #FebCaption or just leave your comment in the box below ’cause I’ve just worked out how to enable that! Just one request KEEP IT CLEAN haha!!
*Update – Congratulations to Brian Morris who won our competition for this month. Prizes were sent out after C2C.
April & May’s caption competition comes from March’s 2019 C2C Festival and Cam’s headline set.. What do you think is going through Cam’s mind here? Leave your captions in the comment box below and we’ll pick a winner towards the end of May. You’ll be the proud winner of a Country Lowdown car sticker PLUS a mystery prize! Last month’s winner bagged a ‘money can’t buy’ Long Road Festival linen bag with some AMAUK goodies and American sweets. What will you win? Enter now for a chance to find out…..